Monday, August 20, 2012

addicted to sex

The idea that one is addicted to sex would usually be a source of amusement of many. This may be because sex is viewed as such a pleasurable activity that a heightened desire to indulge in it may be regarded as understandable or may fall within what may be seen as having a healthy appetite. Also up until now, there was no consensus as to whether there was such a thing as sexual addiction. Some experts believe that what is identified as addictive behavior is an expression of some other recognised psychological malady such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. The American Psychological Association, presently at least, does not formally recognise the condition. Some experts believe that the term sexual addiction actually reflects a societal discomfort with exceptional or extreme sexual behavior. Still, others regard this addiction as being real and very serious and akin to alcohol and drug addiction and therefore requiring similar treatment.

What exactly is sexual addiction?

This is described as having an intense  obsession with sex and indeed sexual activity in general (not just intercourse) and compulsive sexual thoughts and behavior. What separates this form of addiction from a “normal” healthy interest in sex is the degree to which sexual thoughts occupy the individual’s thinking and eventually their behavior to an extent as to interfere with the normal functions of their day to day lives. Therefore work and relationships with others may suffer and can even lead to indulgence in unlawful behavior.

The addicted individual engages in sexual behaviour to such a degree that they persist even despite negative consequences to themselves or others, consequences which may include financial ruin, damage to health,
destroyed relationships and perhaps criminal prosecution. The sex addict usually does not indulge in the behavior specifically for gratification and tend not to form emotional bonds with their partners. In
fact, this addiction is seen as a symptom of some deeper issue and as indicated before, is believed to be associated with other psychological conditions as OC D or manic-depressive disorder. Indeed, the condition may be difficult for clinicians to isolate because it has symptoms similar to these other conditions.

It is believed that sex addicts, like alcoholics, use sexual behavior, being the pleasurable activity it may be, to cope with feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness or of being neglected. It is believed that the addiction stems
from low self-esteem developed over time out of dysfunctional relationships with family and others resulting in an inability to form satisfying and intimate relationships with others. They instead use sexual activity to cope with these negative feelings as well as the stressors of daily living. The behaviour is often accompanied with feelings of guilt and shame. There are often attempts to control it and if they fail, it then reinforces the negative self-perception and exacerbates the behavior. Other experts believe that one person may become addicted and not another because of some abnormality in the brain’s bio-chemistry and that this can be corrected with specific medication.


The sex addict may not be addicted to sexual intercourse specifically or solely. The addict may be addicted to sexual activity in general. Many may not progress beyond compulsive masturbation, extensive use of
pornography or using phone or computer sex services. However others may express their addiction through exhibitionism, voyeurism, rape or molestation.

There are other symptoms:

The addict may have frequent sex with many partners and may be indiscriminate in choosing their partners. He/she persistently craves sex and spends an inordinate amount of time seeking out sexual activity. This may
manifest itself in cruising for partners or spending large periods of time seeking and viewing pornography. This is often done to the neglect of other spheres of their life including work, school or family.
The behavior can escalate in terms of scope or frequency to achieve the desired effect. It is this point that the individual might then find themselves in situations for which they may be prosecuted. The addict may become irritable when prevented from engaging in the desired behavior.


It is believed that the same approach used to treat alcohol addiction may be  used for this one as well. The individual has to be separated from the harmful behavior. Therefore they may have to receive inpatient treatment to remove them from specific sexual stimulus and people and situations that would
facilitate compulsive activity. If the patient is treated in an out-patient setting they would require adequate social and family support. Furthermore, the guilt, shame, sense of despair and depression that is often associated with the malady has to be addressed and this must be done with a therapist to help the individual to cope.

Therefore as humorous a condition as sexual addiction may seem at first glance, it is, like other forms of addiction, actually quite serious because of the detrimental impact it has on the life of the individual and those around them. It is a problem for which the afflicted may have to seek help and would require significant support as they undergo their struggle to overcome the condition.


  1. loveforthethickman:
    Another Humpback bear pic
  2. poise!


OPRAH WINFREY can make just about anyone open up. 

From ice cold celebrities to hardened criminals, Oprah has the gift for gab and the interviewing skills that make people spill the beans.
After watching RIHANNA'S very candid interview with Oprah, began wondering, "Who else would we want Oprah to interview?" 

LAURYN HILL was definitely on our short list, but after Oprah tweeted that the "Ex-Factor" singer politely declined her offer, we had to reconfigure our list. After his domestic violence incident with pop singer Rihanna, Chris Brown is definitely someone we would want to see on Oprah's couch. 

We'd also like to see controversial artists like Britney Spears and R.Kelly sit down and open up to Oprah as well.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Report: Gay Black Men Have 1-In-4 Chance Of Getting HIV By Age 25

Black AIDS Institute Says Gay Men Of Color In US At Greater Risk Than Whole World

By Nathan James
A frightening report released today by the Black AIDS Institute says gay American men of color have a far greater risk of contracting the HIV virus than people living anywhere else on Earth.  The bulletin, entitled Back Of The Line: The State Of AIDS Among Black Gay Men In America discusses a three-year study of infection rates for gay men of all races and ethnicities in the United States.
Covering the years 2007-2010, the study made the shocking discovery that infection rates among black gay men and teens aged 13-24 far exceeded those of other groups.  ”A young Black gay man has a roughly one in four chance of being infected by age 25,” the report stated.  ”By the time he is 40, the odds a Black gay man will be living with HIV is 60%”.
Coupled with the Centers for Disease Control’s (CDC) findings that 46% of gay men of color are HIV-positive–and that roughly a third of those are unaware of their status–this new report has sent shock waves through the LGBT community of color.  Speaking to GBM News, Dr. Sheldon Green, a former ER physician specializing in HIV diagnosis and treatment, characterized the Black AIDS Institute study as a “dirge for the Black gay community.”
Dr, Green said the findings were “The most terrifying I’ve seen in my 26 years of clinical practice.”  The Institute further stated, “Black gay men’s higher risk of HIV dies not stem from higher levels of risk behavior.”  Instead, the report cited lack of access to health care, a hetero-normative hospital system, societal homophobia, and a high prevalence of other sexually-transmitted diseases (STD’s) in the Black community.
Although new treatments are showing promise–the FDA this week approved the use of an existing HIV medication, Truvada, as a preventative after years of research–such measures are often prohibitively expensive for Black gay patients or those seeking to do pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).  Former New York City Health Commissioner–and current CDC director–Dr. Thomas Frieden, reiterated the desperate need for better healthcare access, pointing sharply towards the Obama Administration’s healthcare reform legislation, but cautioned “these laws and programs will take years to implement”.
The Institute report comes just before the annual International AIDS Conference in Washington, DC next week.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

bob burkhardt

Source: thegaysideofbi


New Study Says You Can Tell Sexual Orientation From the Eyes

BY Diane Anderson-Minshal

Is he gay? See if his eyes dilate when he watches men on screen. 
Add this to your gaydar: a new report in Live Science says that you can tell a person's sexual orientation from their eyes. Pupils, that is. According to Stephanie Pappas, a new study finds that pupil dilation is an accurate indicator of sexual orientation. When people look at erotic images and become aroused, their pupils open up in an unconscious reaction, which gave researchers a much easier way to to study orientation and arousal without traditionally invasive blood flow to the genital measurements.

Researcher Ritch Savin-Williams, a developmental psychologist at Cornell University, says the new study is the first large-scale experiment to show that pupil dilation matches what people report feeling aroused by.
"So if a man says he's straight, his eyes are dilating towards women," Savin-Williams told LiveScience. "And the opposite with gay men, their eyes are dilating to men."

Savin-Willims told Live Science that the pupils dilate slightly in response to any exciting or interesting stimulus, a sign that the autonomic nervous system — the system that controls involuntary actions like pulse and breathing — is ramping up.

Savin-Williams and fellow researcher Gerulf Rieger had 325 men and women who idetified as gay, straight, or bisexual watch one-minute videos of a man masturbating, a woman masturbating, and neutral landscape scenes while a camera measured tiny changes in their pupil sizes.
The results, according to Live Science, showed that pupil dilation matches the pattern seen in genital arousal studies. In men, this pattern is generally straightforward: Straight men respond to sexual images of women; gay men to sexual images of men; and bisexual men to both men and women. But women's responses were more complex, said Savin-Wiliams, because while lesbians responded to images of other women, straight women "dilate basically equally in response to erotic images of both sexes, despite reporting feelings of arousal for men and not women."
Whether there's a host of closeted bisexual women or another evolutionary answer to this straight girl dilation, it gives researchers a complex result to try to unravel.

CDC Launches Largest Sex Survey Ever of Gay and Bi Men

For every survey done, a donation goes to the It Gets Better project.

BY Diane Anderson-Minshall

The Centers for Disease Control has launched the largest survey ever conducted by a federal agency for gay and bisexual men in the United States at According to HRC, Sex in the Question will also make a monetary donation to the It Gets Better Project for every survey complete.
The survey is aimed at understanding men's sexual behaviors and health and finding ways to deal with STD and HIV transmission among men who have sex with men.
A quick online survey, Sex Is the Question is also one of the first surveys to provide immediate feedback based on participants answers so you know how you compare to other men who are taking the survey as well.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


  1. itymothy:
    Growing a beard for bear bares
  2. poppasplayground:
  3. male-pulchritude:
    I just had a horrible thought.  What if he talks like Mike Tyson?

First Openly Gay Politician Seeks Seat in Kenya’s New Senate

Homophobia is rampant in Kenya. Despite the challenging environment, an openly gay man is running for a seat in the new Senate established by the nation’s 2010 constitution. He plans to use social media to campaign. Fighting corruption and HIV top his agenda.

by Mary Wairimu Senior Reporter
Thursday - July 26, 2012
NAIROBI, KENYA – Politician David Kuria Mbote once took an elevator in a Nairobi building alone after a group of people he had been waiting with recognized him as a gay rights activist. 

“I entered the lift without thinking then realized no one wanted to join me,” he says. “Most of the people in the group were human rights activists going to the same conference I was attending. I couldn’t help but marvel at their hypocrisy.”

The 38-year-old man says he has faced this kind of discriminaton regularly for being openly gay in the largely homophobic Kenyan society. But he has learned to brush such incidents aside. He says he doesn’t mind when men avoid talking to him in public for fear that people may think they are gay.  
"My sole mission will be to serve to the people."

Save for some tiny gray patches of hair, Mbote looks much younger than his age. He could easily pass for a man in his 20s with his slight build and easygoing nature. But it is his determination that dumbfounds both his friends and foes. 

He comes from Kiambu, a county bordering Nairobi, Kenya’s capital. His conservative community considers him an outcast because of his sexuality and gay rights activism, which he has done for 10 years.

But Mbote now hangs up the boots of gay rights activism to seek political office. He is running to be his county’s senator in the country’s newly established Senate. He believes he will win the seat, bigotry in his community notwithstanding.

Mbote says he aims to change the game of politics – campaigning with social media and committing himself to good governance in order to effect positive social change. If elected, he says his main priority would be creating laws to fight HIV. But he has a challenging campaign ahead, as many people here reject homosexuality on the basis of religion. Voters are giving a mixed response on whether they would vote for a gay politician.

The 2010 constitution established a Senate, which will comprise representatives from each of Kenya’s 47 counties, 16 women nominated by the political parties, four other representatives of minority groups and a speaker. The elections are set for March 2013. 

Some people have dismissed his aspirations as “a long shot” and “just a dream.” But Mbote, who is riding on what he calls the “Third Wave,” a movement to usher in innovative ideas and solutions to social challenges, says winning the Kiambu county senator seat is possible.

After passing a new constitution in 2010, Kenyans are seeking a new crop of leaders to achieve their aspirations for good governance, Mbote says. Patronage and voter-buying have historically dominated Kenyan politics, often blocking young people from ascending to leadership. 

“Almost every single one of exceptionally bright and gifted individuals I have asked why they do not put their great skills to serving and solving the problems of the people say one needs money – lots of it – to get the attention of the voters,” he says.

These, too, he hopes to overcome to set an example for the youth in the country. 
“Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have, I give you,” reads a line on his website banner, which is borrowed from the Bible and translated into Swahili and Gikuyu, his native language.

The financial consultant, who is currently pursuing a master’s degree in finance at Kenya College of Accountancy University in Nairobi, says he does not have the resources to crisscross the expansive county to hold political rallies. But he says he hopes to use social media to galvanize support, especially of young people. He appeals to supporters to invite him to birthday parties, barbecues and other social events so he can pitch his ideas to the people.

He says he’s in it for the opportunity to serve the people, not for the money.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The ultimate crop over party

should I say the party is good lots of good music this time different music and better bar but the same people. I lie. Sexy trinis.  Yes
the Trinidad invasion is in full swing. The
Fact this I have been to two other party has slow down my enjoyment but none the less I get this chance to tell you all about this epic shit.  On a side not the drama that follows the magazine friends and relations wow people asking for passport and places to stay. I will expand later. Now back to this morning festivities chio

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Chris Brown Says He Didn't Insult Frank Ocean, Has No Problem With Gay People

Editor's Note: This story has been updated to include singer Chris Brown's assertion that the report posted by PRLog is false.

BY Jeremy Kinser

Chris Brown, Frank Ocean 
Hip-hop star Chris Brown says the story that circulated about his diss of Frank Ocean last week was false and he encourages people to "love who u wanna love."

A story circulating online last Friday said that when Brown was asked his opinion of out singer Frank Ocean by paparrazzi, he replied with a homophobic remark, but Brown says the incident never happened. The original report of the incident, which was picked up by many news outlets including The Advocate, has since been removed by PRLog.

The report also claimed that Brown and Ocean have had run-ins in the past. The two men previously exchanged heated Twitter messages and Logo blog NewNowNext posted video of Brown sending relatives to chase Ocean's car in June 2011.

On Monday Brown used his Twitter account to set the record straight on his position on LGBT people, writing, "My Opinion on the whole Frank Ocean subject is ......... Love who u wanna love. It's ur decision. People stop searching for BS."

Earlier this month Ocean, whose critically acclaimed new album Channel Orange is also an unqualified hit, revealed that his first love was a man and since stated that being closeted was like having a "boulder on my chest."

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Beenie Man Apologizes

The king of dancehall music is sorry for his past homophobic lyrics and says his view on LGBT equality has evolved.

BY Akim Bryant

The 1990s introduced the U.S. and Europe to a new style of reggae music known as dancehall. It originated from Jamaica and much like the early days of hip-hop, dancehall was instantly popular, yet very controversial. Homophobic lyrics littered many chart-topping international hits by artists like Buju Banton and Beenie Man, the reigning king of dancehall. In their songs, they boasted about committing violent acts against homosexuals including murder. To this day, Jamaica is still described by many human-rights organizations as the most homophobic place on earth.

However, back in May 2012, Beenie Man took to YouTube posting the first ever apology video by any dancehall artist to date, in which he said, “Let me make this clear…I have nothing against no one. I respect each and every human being regardless of which race or creed, regardless of which religious belief…regardless of which sexual preference you have including gay and lesbian people.”

In an exclusive interview with The Advocate, Beenie Man explains how he arrived at his current view on gay rights, whether he believes Jamaica will ever be accepting of the LGBT community and how he would respond if his son grew up to be gay

What prompted you to do the YouTube apology video?
Beenie Man: What really motivated me to do something like that is the love of the music and the respect for people. I’m a Jamaican, see. I’m from a place called Waterhouse so you’re dealing with all Jamaicans there. So as a youth growing up, what them say that we have to say cause children do what they learn. When you start to learn how the world run and how the world situated right now, people is people and people do what they want to do. They live their own life. And if you want people to love your music, all you have to do is respect people for who they are. So when I go to Europe now, me have 30 shows – 10 of them canceled. People come out and they protest. In a sense, they can’t come to my show and judge me for what I did 15 years ago because nobody is the same person who they was 15 years ago. The next reason is I have done a song with Janet Jackson and it being taken off the charts, video taken off MTV. Now this song with me and Nicki (Minaj). We textin’ and everything (she says) you need to stop it and make people understand that’s not who you are right now. This is who I am, and this is where I’m going, and this is where my head space is. Want to make people understand, we are dancehall music and we sing music for the people. And if we sing music for one set of people…and the next set of people not listen to the music, it don’t make sense. That mean you’re off way in the world.

You've got to be the voice for the people, right?
That is the reason why I did it.

What effect has it had since the video was posted?
Well, I did it for Europe and the United States and Canada, I never did it for Jamaica, but it have a (positive) effect all over the world. The shows that we used to get banned from, we are now booked. You have a place like Barcelona, which they offer government [protection] for gay people so once they ease up you realize what is going on. They wanted me to explain to them why I was singing these songs and why do I expect them to support me. So I think they got the message.